March 13, 2018

Who Gets Addicted to Law of Attraction? 13 Characteristics of Devoted Followers

I no longer follow Law of Attraction teachings (LOA), but I was a proponent for over 5 years. 

In the years after leaving, I began to notice that the unintended consequences of those beliefs were more widespread than I first recognized, affecting many areas of my life. 

But there was something else to analyze, and it took me longer to notice. 


For some people, Law of Attraction beliefs are extra-sticky.

Putting aside all debate about if Law of Attraction is legitimate or fictitious, helpful or harmful, I saw that there were factors about me that led me to Law of Attraction in particular. 

After all, it's not the only belief system that crossed my path. It’s one of thousands in the world. So why did I reach out and embrace this one?


What factors make Law of Attraction teachings more likely to stick?


There are factors that motivate and sustain every choice. So what attributes might Law of Attraction followers share? Who was I when I gravitated to LOA? 


That line of inquiry has the potential to be even more revealing than solely inspecting the merit of the beliefs themselves.


Even positive traits can be a liability


As you will see, there are many positive and praiseworthy characteristics on this list, even ingredients for success. But those same characteristics can be exploited.

As you read, notice how easy it is for anyone--including intelligent and independent thinkers--to become convinced of something that capitalizes on their inclinations.

There are also several very relatable, very human problems on this list, problems that could prime a person to seek refuge in an ideology and its promises.


How to use this information: For those who love a Law of Attraction follower


If you have a loved one obsessed with LOA, this guide will help you recognize some attributes or life circumstances that make the teachings especially comforting and compelling to them.


We gravitate to that which meets our needs


People can become obsessed with a belief system when it meets important needs, such as the need to regain hope, manage fear, or achieve meaningful goals. 

The person then has an unconscious investment in perpetuating the belief system, overlooking even glaring errors, because it’s providing necessary mental and emotional safety

The mind will generally be unwilling to release these beliefs unless needs can be resolved or met in other ways.


How to use this information: For the past or current Law of Attraction believer


What happens unconsciously when we come across a new idea?


Simplified, many people accept or reject ideas based on a visceral feeling of resonation or lack thereof. 

This initial emotional response leads us to label the idea as true or false, then the conscious mind supplies logical reasons.

It can be eye-opening to examine what led to that knee-jerk affinity or aversion in the first place. 

So if you are or were the Law of Attraction proponent, this article will provide insight into some of the personal drives that made LOA feel deep down true to you.


Beware of ideology-hopping


As for ex-believers, you may be at risk for "ideology-hopping" after disillusionment with LOA. 

Rather than being left out in the cold without a map, the mind pursues the next absolute Truth for guidance and stability. Gaining self-awareness can stop the unconscious pattern of chasing the same thing in different forms.

As you read this list, note which characteristics you possess. Consider how the following traits have contributed to your success, your individuality, and your unique way of being in life. 

But also note how, unchecked, a potential strength may become a blind spot.


13 characteristics of devoted Law of Attraction followers


Without further ado, Law of Attraction followers may arrive to this belief system with one or more of the following attributes:

1) Idealistic



"Some men look at things the way they are and ask why? I dream of things that are not and ask why not?" –Robert Kennedy

  • Spirited and enthusiastic about life
  • Focused on potential: See life as it could be, see people as they could be
  • Want the ideal relationships, lifestyle, career, body, etc.
  • Wish to be unshackled from an uninspiring status quo
  • Perhaps experiencing current dissatisfaction: Life is not what they want it to be
  • Inspired by Utopian ideas, like creating heaven on earth
  • Driven by ideas like, "Everything is perfect" (or could/should be)
  • Live by the credo, “Nothing is impossible,” perhaps to the point of longing for the fantastic

Many who are drawn to Law of Attraction teachings imagine a better world where anything is possible. They look out through optimistic eyes that automatically see the world as it could or should be. 

LOA teaches that, not only is a better world attainable, but you can be, do, and have literally anything that your imagination can conjure. Without exception. If you “allow” it.

Already longing to believe in good news and inspiration, this group finds their optimism and idealism mirrored back to them and encouraged.

The idealist stays hooked on the teachings, believing that heaven is at their fingertips as long as they stay diligent with their mental and emotional energy and advance their study of LOA.


2) Ambitious & Success-Driven


"Why settle for ordinary?"

  • Have a sense of life mission and purpose
  • Have a life vision and lofty goals
  • Desire a meaningful and remarkable life
  • Don’t want to waste their time on earth
  • Driven to break free from mediocrity
  • Recoil from the thought of living an average, conventional, uninspired life
  • Want to push the boundaries and live without confines and limits
  • Define themselves as different and apart from the mundane, unthinking majority

Those drawn to Law of Attraction may already imagine big plans for their lives. They don’t want to be mere cogs in the wheel and may feel a deep conviction that they are meant for more than an ordinary existence.

LOA is immediately appealing because it encourages no-holds-barred ambition while promising it has the simple formula to realize those ambitions and beyond. 

With a license to dream up the extraordinary, followers will usually develop goals that are desired so badly it hurts. The result is that they stick tenaciously to the teachings, hoping to experience the deeply-held dreams they are coached to imagine in vivid detail.

Followers also start to define themselves as special from the majority: They are told they are deliberate creators on the leading edge. This confirms the sense that they are destined to be remarkable rather than average, further bonding them to the belief system.


3) Self-Actualizers


"Be all you can be."

  • Committed to growing and evolving
  • Growth or self-actualization may even be their stated life purpose
  • Inspired by the possible heights they can reach as an individual
  • Want to explore and embrace individuality and maximize personal potential
  • See their life as a journey for transformation rather than as a series of events
  • Passionate about internal growth (“how can I improve as a person?”) and external growth (generating and pursuing new goals)

For those who feel like personal growth is life's most meaningful treasure, Law of Attraction appears to be just the ticket. The follower gets to leave a world where people seem interested only in homeostasis and exchange it for a world that promotes never-ending heights. 

LOA validates their instinct for evolution and promises a simple path to unearthing one's highest abilities yet. The self-actualizing individual feels they have finally found the key to unlocking full potential and meeting their own high expectations.


Perfectionism


Speaking of high expectations, people in this group can have perfectionist tendencies, pushing themselves towards high performance and an ideal self. 

So perhaps it feels instinctive to embrace the LOA version of growth which involves endlessly perfecting one’s very inner world, fine-tuning every thought and emotion. 

At the same time, the perfectionist gets a break from the demanding role of overachiever in the outer world, because Law of Attraction tells them to ease off of the action-journey.

All this internal activity provides a sense of productivity and control, and it’s accepted as a fruitful path to self-actualization.


4) Want to Help Others


"Give your hands to serve and your hearts to love." -Mother Teresa

  • Compassionate and humanitarian
  • Want to inspire and uplift
  • Inclined towards ideals like goodness, fellowship, and unconditional love
  • May be sensitive to the pain in the world and wish to help alleviate suffering
  • Want to feel significant and have their lives matter
  • May envision being a world server with maximum positive impact on society and the world
  • The idea of being a great leader, teacher, or healer may be appealing

Many followers begin as service-oriented individuals at heart, wishing they could do more to solve the problems they see around them. 

Law of Attraction makes impressive claims about the all-powerful, worldwide impact of "vibrational alignment.” Followers are promised that practicing LOA has an extensive curative impact on friends, family, and the entire world. 

These lofty promises make LOA beliefs extra sticky.

Followers are also taught that they themselves are great teachers because they demonstrate alignment to others, and alignment is considered all powerful. 

They come to believe that they do more for the world through alignment than the person who speaks out, fights for change, or takes any sort of “unaligned” action.


Selfishness, at last


This service-oriented category often includes the overburdened giver who has been putting everyone else first and themselves last. LOA may be their first taste of guilt-free self-focus. 

They are taught that nothing has a greater impact than how good they personally feel, so selfishness becomes the ultimate selflessness.

This message is instantly appealing to people in general. But the person stuck in a self-sacrificing role can especially get hooked on Law of Attraction. It liberates them from a dysfunctional pattern and gives them permission to finally make themselves a priority.


5) Creative, Big Picture Thinkers


"Imagination peers into every corner of the universe." –James Lendall Basford

  • Open-minded and imaginative thinkers
  • Comfortable with the abstract and theoretical
  • Mind tends to automatically seek underlying patterns and meanings
  • Tendency to connect disparate ideas
  • Ascribe meaning to the events that happen around them
  • Curious, inquisitive
  • Tendency to consider the hows and whys of life

The broad-minded, abstract thinker enjoys pondering how life works and the patterns that lie beneath the surface. They tend to actively look for connections, consider theories, and bring ideas together. 

The open-minded and imaginative LOA follower may be attracted to this philosophy because it provides the kind of unified theory of life that they are already inclined to explore. 

This group may say, “Law of Attraction just makes sense.” Or, “I see the proof of it everywhere.”

In fact, the human brain in general has a tendency to look for meaning and pick out patterns, regardless of whether or not a pattern exists. But the big-picture thinker with much mental energy may especially find validation in an ideology that confirms their way of thinking and encourages further expansive thought.

Law of Attraction also provides the satisfaction of belonging to a visionary movement with "leading edge" status over conventional ways of thinking.


6) Spiritually Hungry


"There's got to be more to life than this."

  • Spiritually hungry
  • Feeling “earth-bound”
  • Life feels empty, dull, or lacking in the profound
  • Lacking feelings of connection to self and others
  • Starved for a spiritual spark or feeling of heaven
  • Wish to experience a greater love
  • Seeking inspiration, purpose, and fulfilment
  • Seeking answers to life's big questions

Spiritual nourishment is arguably lacking in our modern world, especially as many move away from traditional religion while retaining a need for spiritual inspiration. 


Soul food


Law of Attraction offers ready-to-go, out-of-the-box life meaning and spiritual practice. 

A person may not consciously feel this dimension has been lacking. But when they do find something that fills a desire for the sacred, it can light a fire of inspiration. They may report profound experiences of connectedness.


Perpetuating emotional highs


Followers are also taught to continually move “up the emotional scale,” thus they end up regularly stimulating elevated emotions within themselves. 

This results in the continued feeling of being tapped into a deeply profound movement. 

It also leads to avoiding coming down from the spiritual high. Ordinary life now feels painfully heavy and mundane in comparison.


7) Already Engaged in Spiritual Thought & Soul-Searching


"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." –Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

  • May already have a history of involvement with spiritual study and personal development
  • Often self-aware, in touch with inner life, and inclined towards introspection
  • Identify as spiritual but not religious
  • Inclined towards practices like meditation and energy healing
  • May be a self-proclaimed Truth Seeker
  • Deeply held spiritual ideals like: “We are all connected,” “life is perfect,” and “love is the answer”
  • May feel out of place on earth or somewhat alienated from regular society

Unsurprisingly, Law of Attraction resonates with spiritual seekers. It fits with a metaphysical understanding of a world made up of unseen forces.


"I've seen the light."


LOA feels like something the seeker deeply knows to be true. It’s also received as valid and trustworthy because it intersects with other spiritual philosophies.

Some seekers even find it’s a relief to replace their old mishmash of spiritual books on the shelf for Law of Attraction, which gives them one all-encompassing, appealing belief system to focus on. The sentiment might be: “I have found it.”


A template for self-examination


For those seekers inclined towards soul-searching, LOA also becomes a therapeutic tool. It becomes the model that guides their introspective processes. 

This group is always hard at work exploring within to find and transform limiting patterns and beliefs.

The self-examination feels endlessly meaningful, particularly with the added Law of Attraction promise that their outer life (career, finances, relationships) must change to perfectly reflect renovations to their inner life. 

Thus the spiritually-minded follower locks in on perpetual, LOA-flavored self-analysis, and this becomes a committed lifestyle.


8) Believe in Working Smarter, Not Harder


"Why walk when you can fly?"

  • Imaginative and forward-thinking
  • Focused on big goals, future possibilities, and “what ifs”
  • The established routes to success seem long and grueling
  • Look for ways to do it faster, better, and more enjoyably than traditional methods
  • Believe the old can always be refreshed and improved upon
  • Intimidated by hard work and/or reluctant to believe it’s necessary
  • May be prone to staying in the inventive stage compared to implementing plans and action
  • May be unfocused in developing talents and abilities but like the idea of attaining skill and mastery

Shortcuts to success


Law of Attraction promises shortcuts to success. This is particularly appealing to those who want to bypass slow, unnecessary work.

For example, here are some of the principles embedded in LOA teachings:

You can create extraordinary success with ease and comfort.The conventional, “action-journey” is slow and backwards.Hard work, talent, skill, and education are not necessary.The real route to success is vibration and allowing.


Success is uncertain; Law of Attraction is comforting


LOA erases all anxieties and insecurities about needing skill, ability, or education for success. The believer is protected from fear of hard work and failure. They’re also excused from worrying about planning, strategy, and even action.

Instead, mastering LOA becomes their most important work. They’re told that they can expect brilliant ideas to dawn, inspired action to strike, and the Universe to deliver everything they want based on “vibration” only.


9) Stuck.


“Stagnation is death."

  • Have experienced recent failure or disappointment
  • Frustrated with long-term problems and obstacles
  • Feeling like hopes and dreams cannot come to fruition
  • Feeling powerless due to current circumstances or repeated setbacks
  • Life is not going the way they envision
  • Cannot seem to make a breakthrough
  • Lacking purpose and direction
  • May feel they are plodding through life
  • Life lacks ease, joy, and inspiration

Being stuck can be subtle or obvious, sometimes keenly felt at the time, sometimes only evident in hindsight. No matter what, it’s painful. 

The stuck person may attach to something (an activity, relationship, belief system) that supplies a sense of purpose, hope, or security.


From lost to found


LOA functions as that life raft for some. It can spark a long-awaited breakthrough. Life has meaning again, and they’re back in the driver’s seat.

LOA also delivers sure answers and a complete roadmap for how to think and what to do. Not only does the person no longer feel stuck, they also have an anchor that provides ongoing conviction.

People in this category may even hold up Law of Attraction as sacred. They come to see it as true beyond question, because it inspired meaningful change for them personally: They were lost but now they are found.


10) Low Self-Esteem


"Everybody longs to be loved, and longs to know that he or she is loveable. And consequently, the greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know that they're loved and capable of loving." –Fred Rogers

  • Lacking confidence in self and abilities
  • Feeling worthless or not valuable
  • Feeling unloved, unlovable, or unwanted
  • Feeling powerless, helpless, insecure
  • Sense of feeling flawed or defective
  • Lacking a sense of belonging
  • Feeling unimportant or inconsequential in a big cold world
  • Plagued by self-criticism, personal shame, self-loathing or other problems directed inward
  • Can't seem to break free from other personal struggles (anxiety, depression, relationship problems, loneliness, resentment, and so on)

Feeling good about oneself is a crucial human need. 

Underlying much human behavior, you’ll find self-esteem as a driving forcethe search to confirm that we are good, we are lovable, and we matter.


Restoring wholeness


Law of Attraction followers are subject to love bombing. They’re told they have the power to create worlds. They’re told they never make a mistake or get it wrong. They’re told they are pure positive energy, the leading edge of Source, and much more. 

The intense affirmation assuages deeply painful feelings and alleviates shame. The follower experiences a transformation of identity from defective to whole, even superhuman.


Confirmation of superiority


In another vein, these lofty LOA messages may also be attractive to people high in narcissistic qualities who are looking to validate their grandiose self-image.


11) In or Recovering from Crisis or Trauma


"I thought control was something I could have over my life. My goal was to live life in such a way that I would never again have to suffer any form of trauma or abuse that would remind me of my painful past." –Jaeda DeWalt

  • Suffering and in pain
  • Impacted by trauma or events that have left emotional wounds
  • Having trouble rebounding from crisis or hard times
  • Dealing with despair, loss, or difficult change
  • Weary with life's struggles
  • Can't find relief from persistent personal struggles (mental health, physical health, relationship problems)
  • May be living with a feeling of being emotionally broken or fundamentally ruined in some way

With its messages of joy and hope, Law of Attraction offers a ladder out of misery. The weary may welcome LOA as liberation at last from suffering that once seemed inescapable.


Not just the promise of joy, but the prevention of future pain


It is not only the messages of joy and hope that inspire this group, but the messages of total personal power: Followers are taught that each person is in charge of everything that happens to them. 

This returns the lost security and power over their circumstances, and gives people assurance they can protect themselves from future misfortune and misery.


Trauma and the illusion of control


Control is an especially compelling promise for anyone whose life has felt heavy, hopeless, and out of hand. 

In fact, it has even been noted in therapy that it is not uncommon for those who have experienced trauma or abuse to retain an illusion of control, imagining that they had influence over some uncontrollable aspect of their situation. 

Similarly, adopting the magical thinking mindset of Law of Attraction can go hand-in-hand with adversity.

Note that a situation can be traumatic to an individual whether or not they have come to name it as such. Any significant emotional blow that leaves the individual wounded or trying to recover could open a person to beliefs that promise healing and protection from further harm.


12) In the Midst of Transitions


"There is no such thing as a small change."

  • Closing an old chapter or opening a new chapter in life
  • In a new place, away from home, moving
  • Important relationships ending, beginning, or shifting
  • Starting college or other educational programs
  • New jobs, job loss
  • Changes to financial situation
  • Periods of inner searching (through therapy, self-help, spiritual or religious inquiry, and so on)
  • Loss of a role or identity; beginning of a new role or identity

Change means vulnerability


Changes and transitions, even positive ones, are stressful. Change disrupts normal life. It throws a person off their usual balance.

A person may be separated from their usual support system and anchors, and their normal defenses are down. Change also comes with a range of mixed emotions—fear, sadness, uncertainty, joy, exhilaration, inspiration. 

In other words, it’s a vulnerable time.


Change means a changing identity


It's also not uncommon for someone in transition to be reflecting on their identity on some level: “Who am I, who do I want to be, what’s my place in the larger world?” Think of the college freshman away from home for the first time, the new parent, or the freshly single. 

LOA is an attractive choice for those in transition. It provides confident answers to their big questions and soothes their fear and vulnerability while giving them a new, powerful identity. It’s a chance to shed the old and seize their best life yet. 

Belief systems like Law of Attraction can cushion life transitions, functioning as the stabilizer, new identity, and support system all in one.


13) A Desire for Answers & Control


"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear. And the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." –H.P. Lovecraft

  • Desire certainty and stability
  • Want to have power over their circumstances (can be due to current feelings of powerlessness/lack of control)
  • Uncomfortable with uncertainty or ambiguity
  • Desire consistent rules and an effective formula for living
  • Have underlying fears about the security of life, finances, relationships, etc.
  • Worried about future misfortune
  • Feel fearful and powerless about the state of the world. Feel vulnerable watching the news or hearing about tragedies and injustice: "This could happen to me or my loved ones at any moment."

It is natural to seek order, predictability, and assurance of safety. Life is uncertain and scary, and each person must find ways to manage their fear. 

In fact, if a person doesn’t have a way to cope with that existential fear, they will find themselves in crisis. Some people build their resilience by committing to Certainty. 


There's safety in certainty


LOA is a soother of all fear and doubt. It removes ambiguity and uncertainty, replacing it with absolute answers and absolute assurance. The follower gains a sense of total security and god-like control.

Underneath the easygoing attitudes within Law of Attraction (like the focus on joy and allowing), there is actually a tremendous focus on staying in control, having all the answers, and not being vulnerable. 

In order for the follower to minimize feelings of powerlessness and maximize feelings of control, they adhere to the LOA rules and receive black-and-white certainty in return.


Conclusion


Law of Attraction is designed for maximum appeal


As you can see, Law of Attraction is a lock-and-key fit for certain characteristics and life circumstances. In fact, Law of Attraction has mass appeal because it hits upon so many notes of all human desires and fears. 

Everyone wants to feel important and powerful. Everyone wants a magic wand and an effortlessly perfect life. Law of Attraction says it can deliver, well, everything. And some people dare to believe it for the sake of a better life.


Keeping the faith


With hopes, dreams, and emotional safety now hanging upon this ideology, followers must diligently keep the faith and block contradictory thought. 

If they don’t, they risk huge losses: They risk losing their hope, their identity, and their big payoff that’s supposedly right around the corner. 


A recipe for dependence


To top it all off, the Law of Attraction recipe provides enough nourishing ingredients, and enough improvement in health, to convince people that the whole meal is nutritious. 

So have compassion for yourself or for any addicted loved ones, because it’s a recipe for dependence.


Easy to fall for and hard to give up


“Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead.” –Sigmund Freud

Humans are certainly susceptible to the power of emotion and belief. This is happening all over the world--and the internet--with beliefs and ideologies of all kinds, some quite radical and dangerous. 

It’s a curious paradox that an all-encompassing ideology can provide great value to the individual while also harming them (or others). Some people even report that their belief system saved them, and maybe it did. 

Yet even while providing purpose, hope, recovery, self-esteem, and so on, fanatical belief systems can also lead to blind spots and delusion.


Give me something to believe


It’s tempting to cling to an Ultimate Truth, especially a flattering one that promises exaggerated health, wealth, power, and success.

A person will not usually turn away from something they're relying on for identity, mental and emotional survival, or fulfillment of aspirations. 

Disillusionment is not easy, many people don’t want it, and it often cannot occur if it will be too psychologically destructive. 

But awareness can help.


Free will through awareness


“All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.” –James Thurber

We can remain mentally flexible and protect against misguided thinking when we stand outside ourselves in honest examination, looking fearlessly at what’s motivating our choices and beliefs.

Awareness can show us where we are liable to become unbalanced or erroneous in our thinking. It helps us temper idealism with practicality so we do not become naive. It adds discernment to our faith in order to prevent delusion. 

We keep an eye out for our own concealed wounds so we know when they’re steering us off-track, towards the safety and escape of fantasy. And we dedicate ourselves to a higher vision without allowing our idealism to be hijacked or exploited.


Just human, but more than enough


We come to love ourselves, not because we are perfect or superhuman, but because being just human is a feat and wonder all its own. 

We uncover the greatness within ordinary-extraordinary human life that trumps wishful thinking. And we come to love reality more than fantasy--even when its hard or thoroughly mundane. 

We learn that we have nothing to lose but illusions when we let go of a false worldview. 

And we come to know that that which is most beautiful, promising, and hopeful is that which is real.




Did you recognize yourself or others in this list? Do you have anything to add?


15 comments:

  1. Thank you for this article and the entire blog. I also was addicted to law of attraction and the teachings of Abraham for over 5 years. I called in every day to a phone meeting that studies and discusses the books. In the last 3 years, some very difficult and unwanted things have happened. I have blamed myself for causing these occurrences because my dominant vibration was negative, so I believed that I attracted these events. This has been so painful I have contemplated suicide. I still have ongoing life challenges and am in a period of major upheaval and transition. If I want to survive, I have to let go of my obsession with my thoughts and "vibration" and start to trust the bigger picture and the Divine intelligence that I now believe may be running the show. Or not. Maybe everything is random. I don't know. But I am willing to question and not swallow all I hear in LOA as accurate because its coming from wise non-physical beings who of course know everything about life and how it works. But, as you say, it is addictive. I still call into these phone meetings some days because I occasionally hear something helpful. I haven't been able to give it up entirely. I certainly see most of the characteristics in this article in me. I like some things in Abraham, like looking for positive aspects and things to appreciate, but that can become too one sided and morph into denial, so it can be insidious, as are other tenets in the teachings. There are some things in the teachings that never sat well with me, even when I was trying to believe it all, like there is no such thing as a victim. Abe can't convince me that innocent children or animals who are abused attracted the abuse. But I would try to figure out how this could be true, like maybe the children and animals attracted abuse by something they did in a previous life and have a vibration that carried over into this life. This is so warped! I see a major lack of compassion in LOA, but it is all so sticky and tricky because some things in Abe's teachings resonate and seem true. I came across your blog when I looked up Ask and It is Given on Amazon to see if anyone had written any critical reviews about it that verbalized what I was starting to think and feel about Abe. Your review of that book did that and really helped me start thinking for myself again. Thank you.

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  2. P.S. I do think vibration and law of attraction may be real and play a part in the events of life, but I no longer believe they cause or explain everything that happens. Although I don’t yet know what they are, I believe there may be other spiritual laws at work too. I think about a rainbow with all of its colors. Trying to explain everything that happens just using the law of attraction is like trying to describe a rainbow by just talking about the color blue. The blue is there, it is “true,” but it is only a part of the picture.

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  3. Responsible SpiritualityMarch 17, 2018

    Karen, thanks so much for your comment and the thoughtfulness and honesty in it. I am still learning the different "flavors" of how this can impact a human life. The more feedback I hear, the more I understand the different problematic aspects with this belief system. I am sorry to hear how you have been. I also understand why you would still phone into your group occasionally, especially if you are still in dark days. There is a process to letting go of all of this.

    I had a cherished notebook that I lovingly filled with (mainly) Abraham quotes and guidelines. It was the last thing I threw away. Someone at the time gently asked why I kept it, and I told her, "I guess it inspires me?" She said, "You may want to consider getting your inspiration elsewhere." A couple weeks later I was ready to throw it into the dumpster. I think pulling my thoughts out of those avenues altogether was very important for me. There were a few "levels" of detox that my thinking was able to go through after deciding to really be done with it.

    That said, you do what you need to do to keep yourself supported, maybe with the aim of finding your inspiration elsewhere at some point down the line. There is so much out there to help and support people. If you haven't been to lieofattraction.com yet, there's a very compassionate and honest book by Izabella Siodmak that I recommend. Thanks again for your response here, and of course I could not be happier to hear that this blog has helped.

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  4. Thank you for your comment and for telling me about lieofattraction.com. I had not come across that yet. It looks very interesting and helpful. It is interesting what you wrote about your cherished notebook. I am almost ready to throw the A-H books I have away. I did manage to unsubscribe from the daily quote email, although I haven’t yet deleted my file of saved ones. I have been finding help and inspiration from other teachers and authors who are truly loving and compassionate. Thanks again!

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  5. “in a multitude of words... sin is not lacking” Prov 10:19

    That’s what keeps coming to me whenever I hear her talk and say, “in other words...”

    I have family members and friends very into this and they are beautiful truth-seekers.

    Jesus said He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life... so for me... He’s the one to seek answers from. But we are human and it’s our nature to look everywhere else first. :)

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  6. Responsible SpiritualityApril 24, 2018

    Ah yes, the prolific use of "in other words..." in the A-H teachings! There is definitely a whole lot of orating going on. I'm glad you pointed it out, and I love the wisdom in that bible verse you quoted. You might find it interesting that a number of people I am aware of have turned to Christianity after being mixed up in Law of Attraction. I think that once the veil comes off, a lot of people feel there is immorality & corruption in the A-H teachings and have a renewed desire for seeking out higher wisdom without being misled by glittery falsehoods.

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  7. Angela HillOctober 24, 2018

    I’m finding this website really helpful in understanding my mother who is a follower of this and due to her New Age beliefs has not been empathetic or supportive of my recovery from early trauma (mostly from before she adopted me). I believe that one characteristic that you’ve missed is shame. I think that people who have shame may turn toward this way of thinking to guard against feeling that vulnerability. There’s so much more I could say, but for now I’ll just say that I’m grateful that your perspective is out there in the world. It is validating to me. Interestingly, I fit many of these characteristics but I gravitate more toward Buddhism, and due to the pain New Ageism has brought into my life (i.e. chronic invalidation of my lived experience) I now run away from that. And even Buddhism, with the concept of karma can be tricky. However, in my mind the driving principle that keeps me coming back to it is acceptance. I’m especially a fan of Tara Brach and her book Radical Acceptance. That has been a balm to me…

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  8. You mention lack of empathy and invalidation, and these are are two reasons I no longer follow A-H teachings. I agree that people who feel shame might be drawn to this way of thinking to feel less vulnerable. I also am a big fan of Tara Brach and her book Radical Acceptance, which has also been a balm for me. What she writes is truly compassionate and loving, unlike what A-H teaches. Thank you for your comment.

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  9. Angela HillOctober 24, 2018

    And thank you Karen for bravely putting all this out into the world!

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  10. This isn’t my blog, but I’ve gotten a lot of help here from the author’s posts and from readers’ comments, as well.

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  11. Karen,

    I am wondering if you might possibly be my old friend Karen?

    You appear to have a similar writing style and she had also been a long-time follower of AH. If so, I'm so happy to hear you are doing well and finding inspiration from other loving and compassionate teachers. If you are not my friend then well-wishes anyway.

    Best wishes,
    Danny

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  12. Karen KeyJune 24, 2019

    Hi Danny, no I'm not the same Karen. Thanks for the well wishes and I send you the same.

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  13. Thanks for letting me know! :)

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  14. […] wanted to thoughtfully respond to your question about what attracts a person to AH. I have been living in my own nightmare that AH has contributed to and as a result, I have lost my […]

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  15. Responsible SpiritualityNovember 18, 2019

    Comments are closed, but please check out RethinkingNewAge on Reddit and join the discussion there

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